January 2019 Wagner Review

Henry (3 years old) was supposed to have his tonsils and adenoids removed on the 3rd of January, but he got sick, so we had to push it back. Having both boys at home all the time for almost a month and it being cold outside made me feel cooped up and irritable. Usually only one was sick at a time, and whoever wasn't sick felt neglected it seems. I just couldn't keep everyone happy. Then, mid-January, Henry had his surgery. The surgery went very well, the ENT doc said. They were the biggest tonsils and adenoids he had ever seen on any kid! No wonder Henry has had obstructive sleep apnea and trouble drinking and eating. Hopefully this procedure will help. It was a very long 2 week recovery. The first 2 days were surprisingly mild, and Henry didn't seemed too bothered, and then day 3 hit and it was a nightmare until about day 13! 

It's a good thing Henry won't remember. When John heard that his brother had to have surgery, John was very worried. I told him that he had the same thing done when he was 3 and he was just fine. John was shocked, and told me he didn't even remember that! So, only I will remember the trauma, pain and suffering ;) It's better that way. Sweet Seth slept with Henry every night and kept on top of his medicine so that I could have a break from the day shift. But man, after everybody being sick, and then the surgery, I wondered when my husband and I would ever share a bedroom again! Henry started calling our bed, "Mama's bed." I didn't like that and missed my hubby. 

Poor John felt sorely overshadowed and jipped during Henry's recovery, since John had to go to school and do homework and piano lessons, and didn't get to watch Team Umi-Zoomi all day long (and I mean ALL. DAY. LONG! - I think on the 90th episode of watching Team Umi-Zoomi, I was finally excellent at counting to 20, I could win a competition.) But thank the Lord for appropriate and educational shows for kids! Imagine trying to help a kid recover from surgery with no good distractions. Yikes! All the screen time sapped all of John's motivation to do anything productive, so I just let the battle go mostly, knowing we'd get back into the swing eventually. Seth took John by himself to the Henry Ford Museum for a Papa and John outing, and we tried our best to help John feel significant and loved. 

After Henry mostly recovered, John caught the flu which was rampant at his elementary school.... Oh....winter... Poor kid missed a bunch of school, and John's teacher told us she was very sad that John missed the NWEA standardized testing window (since he's the top scorer in the class. We didn't tell him. We didn't want it to go to his head, which seems very confident already :) 

Then Henry got the flu, and then when Henry began to get better, John came home with an eye infection.....truly. I'm not making this up. Then Henry caught the eye infection. I have a theory on all of this. Since John's school made school lunch free for all kids, John has frequently been coming home with a mostly full lunch box. When we try to find out about why, there is always some elaborate story as to why he didn't have time to eat his lunch. I think the real reason is that he is often eating the school lunches which can not exactly be considered healthy. Although there is no way to truly verify this, so I'm not sure what to do. Also, John has been sucking on his fingers since he was born, and now he's 7, and it's still how he self-soothes, despite all our best efforts to help him stop....

We think we may have to resort to getting the mouth guard put in at the orthodontist that has the little spikes that don't feel good to suck on. We sure didn't want it to come to this, but no one would want their child going around licking every door knob in the elementary school, and that's basically what happens when you go anywhere and then suck on your fingers....

This month, Seth and I have both found a lot of solace in attending The Detroit Michigan Temple to worship God and feel His love and help as we serve there. It is wonderful to put aside the cares of the world for a few hours and to be immersed in the holy and sublime. 

Seth has also enjoyed playing a little basketball this month, and I hope he'll be able to continue. Exercise is so helpful, especially when the winter makes it often impossible to ride our bikes.

December 2019 Wagner Review

Through much of December, John and Henry, and then even Seth traded off sicknesses, colds, the flu, etc. Thank the Lord I did not catch them. I kept faithfully drinking my daily herbal tea (just boiled turmeric, ginger, thistle root, cinnamon, cloves and chamomile), and it seemed to keep me healthy. I tried my best to care for eveyone. And the boys certainly enjoyed the extra movie time while they were convelescing. We were grateful that Seth had the time off to recover.

We enjoyed a quiet Christmas at home focused on the Savior and enjoying each other as a family. We kept our tradition of watching "A Muppet's Christmas Carol," and we also added a tradition and listened to the audiobook as a family. It was so inspirational! We leisurely opened presents Christmas morning, the boys were thrilled with Lego sets, and a lifetime membership to online piano lessons with www.hoffmanacademy.com, Seth's new smart TV, a new stainless steel kitchen set for me, and also the promise of a real live puppy for our family this summer!

*Seth surprisingly convinced me that we need a dog now because our kids are only going to be little once, and it will help our children learn to care for something that loves them and become more responsible. And that the dog will help us bond as a family when our foster child comes. He knew exactly how to melt my heart with that one! And now I might be more excited about it than Seth or the boys! We had a great time learning about different dogs and finding out which one would be best for our family. After so much deliberation, we decided on a Cavapoo. A mix between a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and a Mini-Poodle. Hypo-allergenic and only gets to be about 15 pounds or so. The plan to get a dog this summer is very motivational for all of us to get things in order, and start following a more consitent routine. In December we went down to Ohio for a Shepard family gathering, and on the way, we went to visit a Cavapoo breeder, and we all fell in love! It's a good thing we weren't going right home, because we might not have been able to resist bringing one home right then! Here's a couple short videos of our visit: Part 1, Part 2 Notice how John looks like he is in Heaven! 

We had the missionaries, Elders Whitaker and Kennedy, and a sister from our ward, Kristi Hamilton, over for Christmas dinner.  Another tradition we started  that I would like to continue is that we turned off all the lights except the Christmas Tree, and we each went around the table and said something we know/believe about Christ. John said, "Jesus loves us!" Henry said, "Jesus is kind." Kristi said, "Jesus Christ never gives up on us, no matter what we've done, He's still reaching out to us." It was touching for all of us. With each testimony, we lit one small candle (which was in a loaf of bread). The room got lighter and lighter the more we testified of Christ. Then, when all the candles were lit, we talked about how Jesus Christ is 'the light, the life, and the hope of the world." And we also talked about how Christ is the bread of life.

For our Christmas dessert, we had a delicious Chocolate Pie with bananas and strawberries, and it was a big hit again! It was quite a triumph when I invented it at Thanksgiving, so I thought I'd do a repeat. The crust is made of coconut, dates, pecans and oats, and the chocolate filling was made of roasted sweet potatoes, avovado, cocoa and honey.

My mom and dad, Terri and John Shepard, came to visit us for New Years. We enjoyed Seth's new TV, it's so nice that it connects to the internet, and it made it possible for us to get rid of our big bulky desk, 2 computer monitors and 2 computer towers! (Phew!) My parents took us to dinner at BD's Mongolian BBQ Grill which has something for all of us, which is nice since we like to eat different things. It was very accomodating! Of course, my parents and Seth and I played our customary games of Euker, which is a Shepard family tradition. And my parents were so kind to help us get a year-long membership to The Henry Ford Museum and Greenfield Village. We got to enjoy the Museum, and it is SO Cool! I know we are going to use the membership all the time!

I'm so thankful for special times we can spend with family Happy 2020!

2019 Emily Review - Jumping Onto a New Train

Well, after a long time social media pause, I have decided to try blogging again. I want to have a way to look back on each month to review what happened and what I have learned. We'll see where it goes from here.

January is a time of reflecting on the past year, and I have spent some time on this. 2019 did not turn out how I expected, but it turned out even better. As a quick recap, I received a very strong impression that God had a different direction, a better direction, for me to go in my life. I was constantly led to the idea of fostering-to-adopt a child, which was a very unexpected idea. My health has been quite a challenge ever since I injured my neck in September of 2018, and I didn't feel at all ready to have another child. But after much prayer and research and counselling with my dear Seth, we felt that this was a message from God. He was allowing these health challenges which make it unwise for me to have a baby biologically right now, so that our minds and hearts would be more willing to love and care for a child that is already on earth and waiting for our family.

This was a drastic mindset shift for me, as I was fully gung-ho about starting my own business and podcast, and perhaps even a YouTube Channel, which would help us reach our debt-free financial goal faster, and give me an outlet for all my talents and passions and ambitions. I had even recruited a large bunch of people in our ward at church to participate in the "How to Start Your Own Business Class," because we were the Self Reliance Facilitators in our Ward. I thought that would be the perfect time for me to begin.

We started the process of finding a Foster/Adoption Agency, filling out mountains of paperwork, doing hours and hours of training, and starting to seriously crack down on the clutter in our house to make space for a newcomer, and free up mental and emotional space by letting go of a LOT of stuff in our life.

And as we began that journey, I could see I needed to let go of all the non-essential. I was able to see more and more clearly that we were just fine in our finances, and that we were continually moving forward in our financial goals, and Seth amply provides for us without a second income. I was doing my part by carefully managing the finances we do have, and striving to be frugal and industrious.

I recognized that my little ones will only be little for a few short years. I don't want to miss it because I was blinded by my own ambitions. I could now see that I didn't need to have 100,000 followers on any platform to make a difference for good in the world. The most important followers I have are the 2 little boys that I already have in my home, whose little worlds I get to shape and mold. And I don't want to miss that, even for the world. My husband is my biggest fan, my greatest supporter, and I want to reciprocate that. I am not saying that this path, that I now want, is the right path for everyone. But it is the one for me, right now.

I think God knew that the only I could be brave enough to jump off my "Own Business and Ambitions" Train, was if I could see a more important train nearby, so He gave me this one, and I jumped. The "Set my life priorities in order so we can foster to adopt a child" Train is the one I want to be on right now.

I started giving away trunk loads of stuff almost weekly. Stuff that I planned to repair and make into something new, to upscale and renew and breathe new life into. But finally and thankfully I realized that I need to filter. I can't do that for all the things in my lifetime, only for a select few. So I let them go. I decided not to continue waiting until I "had time" to sell all those things that still had value in the eyes of the world, and I just started giving them away, remembering that God has always provided for our needs, and He will again, especially if we are generous with giving to others what we do not need.

I carefully dismantled my grow room that was set-up to grow enough microgreens for a restaurant, and scaled back just to my couple of shelves in my garden window. I let my giant back yard garden tend to itself, and it seemed to grow just fine without my help. I sorted through all the remnants of past endeavors that I started and never 'finished.' It was a very painful process which included quite a bit of shame and pain realizing how I was distracted from some of the most important things (people) in my life. But it was also full of God's grace, forgiveness and healing. Feelings of hope for change and improvement have also strengthened me through this process.

I let go of taking the business class, realizing that, when I am ready and it's the right time, I'll still be able to start my own business, if that's what I want to do. So, as I look back on 2019, I see my greatest accomplishment as letting go of what wasn't most important, and turning my will to the Lord's. His plans are better than mine, and I look forward to a year of change, stretching, and growth!

A Change of Format

Hello, all you faithful readers!

I just wanted to let you know that I am trying a new format - Instagram! (and I forward my posts to facebook as well).

I decided to make this change so that I could easily print out my posts into books and have it already in the same format, ready to go. It's faster to do from my phone, so we'll see how it goes for a while.

If you would like to find me, look up emilywagner4 on Instagram, or Emily Shepard Wagner on Facebook.

Brainy

I am amazed at how fast John is learning. He's like a sponge! He told me yesterday, "Mama, I almost fell down!" I was amazed that he's using correct past tense for irregular verbs and understands the meaning of almost!

I always knew he had a big brain. His head couldn't have been so big when I delivered him for nothing!

Safari Time and Flowers

We got to talk to Seth this morning. He got to be outside the house he is staying at. It looks nice! He is looking forward to going on a Safari until Saturday. 

The first rose bloomed on our rose bush today! I'm so excited!!! And I may have bought some petunias at Kroger to plant, because flowers make me so happy! And Seth, you can pat yourself on the back as if you bought me flowers! This is even better! Thank you! :)

12 more nights

I've been having a hard time sleeping without my dear Seth by my side. Despite exhaustion, I struggle to want to go to bed. 

12 more nights! We've made it half way! And if my love and appreciation for this man grows in those 11 days as they have in the past 11, I don't know how I will contain myself!

Seth hasn't taken a picture yet in Africa, (that's normally my job) but I'm hoping he will! Thankfully others have taken some that he can download. Like these below. (He's so handsome and wonderful!! I'm very proud of him)

Touch a Truck

John was absolutely overjoyed to go to the "Touch a Truck" event in Worthington. 

We went with our friends, the Shurtz's. Bentley is one of John's good buddies. And john loves his little brother, Beckam too. Kyla and I have a great time together as well! John has prayed for their whole family twice this week, even Ben, Bentley's dad! John is thorough :)

Hopeful Thursday

This picture of me and Seth was taken at my grandma Shepard's house years ago, although I am not sure how many years. Maybe three or four. I sure love this man. And I hope that he is having a wonderful life changing experience helping people in a very rural village of Kenya. I am excited to hear from him on Sunday, and know that he's safe.

I feel very hopeful today. God is blessing me with a renewed assurance and perspective. I felt like I mothered John very well, and we weathered any possible bumps in the day with composure.

I am very proud of John. I made a delicious vegan Caesar dressing from Oh She Glows cookbook, and put it on a delicious green salad with kale, lettuce, zucchini, carrots, and tomatoes. He ate his whole bowl-full, asked for seconds and ate that too!

Then we had a very pleasant family home evening, singing songs, saying the Pledge of Allegiance, praying, learning about Ruth in the Bible, and having a delicious banana muffin treat. I felt proud to be a mother today, and remembered that I have a very crucial job, and God is helping me.

Happy Mother's Day 2015

I am exceedingly thankful to be the mother of this wonderful child. John is a great blessing to us!

We got to talk to Seth for 10 wonderful minutes. He looks happy and safe. And it seems like he is learning a lot. I'm very glad that he got to go to church today, and that it is so close by. It is truly a miracle that The Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day Saints is pretty much everywhere in the world.

After church, we got to go to Reynoldsburg, Ohio, to visit my paternal grandma, Phyllis Paver Shepard. She was very glad to see us, and John really put a smile on her face. He was very sweet, and gave kisses, and said Happy Mother's Day!

At grandma's we also got to see some of our very favorite people, my aunt Laura (in red), and my aunt Candi (in black). John absolutely adores them, and the feeling is mutual. John was really excited about that pink flamingo. He carried it around almost the whole time. We got to see the video of aunt Laura skydiving yesterday. She is a daredevil!

I am thankful for the wonderful women in my life. There are too many to number. Our mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, sisters-in-law, cousins, friends, mentors, teachers. We are so blessed.

John is having a really hard time with Papa being gone. He does wonderfully when we go out, he was a little angel at church, and cuddled, and folded his arms, and played quietly the whole time. But when we get home, John struggles, he asks when Papas coming home, and it is like he knows that something's missing, and it is. It is lonely here without Seth. We sure miss him! 

Although there are many two-year-old tantrums when we are at home, I know that John loves me. I love him so much. When I called my mom, John told her, "I have mama!" So sweet. 

We are going to pretend like it is Mother's Day after Papa comes home. :-)

Safe in Nairobi

We got to talk to Seth today. He is safe in Nairobi, he and his colleagues are staying in a house in a gated community. All of their meals are prepared for them, and he said the food is good. He doesn't have to make any food, or do any dishes. The luxury!

They even have three bathrooms. One for the four women, one for the eight men, and one bathroom on the main floor for everyone.

They went to a small village today, and they got to experience what it is like to haul water for a mile, up the hill back to the village. He said it was really tough. I can only imagine. So when I turn on the faucet, my dishwasher, the shower, and flush the toilet, I am really going to try to remember to be grateful.

He forgot to take his hat, and didn't wear any sunscreen. So he got burnt. I am hoping he will start using those resources :-)

Seth is excited to be able to attend church tomorrow. There is an LDS church just 3 miles away from where he is.

He's On His Way!

We're missing Papa already. John keeps asking me, "where's Papa?" "Is Papa coming?" "I want to see Papa." So do I. 

We took this picture right before we dropped him off at the Columbus Airport today. He is on his way to Nairobi, Kenya! He's going to help with a project that helps people carry and store water more easily and sanitarily. The trip and project have been organized by the OSU MBA school. Even though we will sure miss him for 3 weeks, It is such a great opportunity for Seth! We're excited for him! :)

Year One Down!

We did it! We finished the first year of MBA school :-) and I have no qualms about saying we, Seth would be the first to tell you that this has been a family effort.

God has blessed us so abundantly throughout this whole year. We have all learned so much, and grown a lot. We have made wonderful friends here, and had so many excellent opportunities!

Seth has done very well in school! He has worked so hard. We are very proud of him. He is an exemplary husband and father. Although, he is one of the only ones in his MBA class that is a husband and a father, he has been there for us.

He is been there for family dinner, scripture study, bedtime, family home evening, date night. We are so grateful for him. Great job Seth!!

Hanging with the Barkers

Our great friends Emily and Sam Barker from Cleveland, and their sons William who is four years old, and Paul who is two years old, came to visit us today. We had such a great time with them!

Sam and Emily were some of our very first friends in Cleveland, when we moved there in 2008. It's awesome that Sam and Seth get along so well, and Emily and I love to spend time together! Couple friends that you keep forever are quite hard to find. We are so blessed!

John loved playing with the Barker boys! We sure wish we could see them all more often!

The flowers come from an admirer, but it's no secret

I love spring time. It is a reminder to me that God loves us. That's why He sends us flowers every year. :)

Recognizing Blessings

Here I am with John today, I thought that we were taking a video, but really I just took our picture. But thankfully, he was willing to do the video a second time.

I am not sure why, but John was having a seriously hard time this morning. I jokingly said Seth could take John to school with him :-) after alphabet school, I pretty much had to drag John home, because he didn't want to leave. Then, after a colossal tantrum that seem to last a very long time, I held him in my arms on the couch and talked to him about what was going on. Finally, he gave in and cuddled with me for a few minutes. After a few minutes though, he was fast asleep in my arms. So exhausted. --- It was truly a beautiful moment that I cherish, holding hm in my arms, safe and warm and loved. I know that it can't  always be that way, he will grow up. I am so thankful to have this blessing now. Even though there are tantrums and challenges, it is so worth it being a mother. Just for those glimpses of true joy and peace. 

---

John is doing great using the potty! I think he has had one accident this week, and that's it! He has been in underwear the whole time, even at night, and he is telling us whenever he needs to go! This is a very exciting time :-) I am proud of him.

---

I am truly loving reading The Book of Mormon again! I have read it quite a few times. And every time I learn new things, or remember important things that I've forgotten. Today I was reading about two brothers, Nephi and Laman. They were both in the wilderness on a journey, for eight years. They were on the same journey, yet they saw it so differently. They both admitted that they had had many trials. Laman saw them through the perspective of pessimism; he complained about it, and said that it would have been better if they had never gone on the journey anyway. That it might have even been better to have died that to go through those trials. He wished for the things of the past, saying that he might have been happy had things been different. I am tempted in times of life that are difficult, to see things this way.

Nephi acknowledges that they have suffered great trials, but he focuses on the fact that they were strengthened by the Lord. He can see how they have grown and developed on their journey through their afflictions when they have relied upon the Lord. He says "so great were the blessings of the Lord upon us"

And he comes to this conclusion:

"And thus we see that the commandments of God must be fulfilled. And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and strengthen them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them; wherefore, he did provide means for us while we did sojourn in the wilderness."

See The Book of Mormon, first Nephi chapter 17 verse three

I want to see with eyes like Nephi, and to recognize the blessings of the Lord always. We are all on our own journeys through the wilderness of life. And we can choose how view them. I choose to see my blessings. And I am greatly blessed! I'm so thankful for my life, for the lessons God is teaching me, for my loving family and the joy that I have because of them, even when times are hard. God has been so good to us.

We're On Our Way to Morristown!

We found a place to live in Morristown, New Jersey! It costs and arm and a leg to live there, but I talked with an LDS realtor in the area, and she said it is unheard of to find a 3 month lease anywhere for less than $4,000/month, and we found one for $2,000. I am very relieved. Now I am trying to iron out the details, and make all the payments for security deposits and fees. We have to pay $3650 in deposits and fees just to get the key....

But it's in the prime location - 3 miles from Seth's work! So we won't have to buy a second car. He can bike. We won't even have to put our bed in the living room, although we wanted to - to save some money. In New Jersey, if you're a family of 3, you can't rent a 1 bedroom - it's illegal... what's with that? And If you have twin babies of different genders, and you are renting an apartment, it is illegal for them to share a room, even though they're babies! Ok, I'm off my rant. It is what it is, and we have a place to stay, and it looks way nice! So if it's all we could get, I am glad that it is nice, and that we are paying for something good, not something gross or unsafe.

And our apt. is right next to a park with a big playground! There are 2 museums, a bus station, and a train station (that takes you right to Manhattan) within walking distance (even for me! which is saying something...) There are parks dotting the neighborhood. Downtown Morristown is very close by as well, and it looks so quaint with all these little restaurants and shops and flowers. And there is a cemetery about a mile away! I love cemeteries because they are beautiful and full of history! And because I am a geneologist, and I'm just into finding my ancestors, and other people's too. And LA Fitness, my gym is only 11 min away, so I can still swim often, and Seth's gym 3 miles away from our apartment. It's really a great location! --- Can you tell I'm excited for the summer!? It will be great! I'm most excited to see more of Seth in the evenings because he won't have homework for the summer :)

My Little Jacob Marley

John fell down and scraped his chin today. Thankfully it wasn't bad, but it was enough to merit a Band-Aid.John went around the house the wailing quite a bit, even though he wasn't hurt anymore. It was all for show. Perhaps he has duped me, and he has already read "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens, and he was just pretending to be Jacob Marley. A very convincing performance! He probably just missed his papa, who has night class tonight. He kept asking, "Papa's coming home?"

I sure am proud of this little boy! He went potty at the gym, even while I was in the pool, he just told the workers at the kids club that he needed to go, and he also stayed dry at his friends house today, and he used the potty the entire day, telling me each time he needed to go so, tonight we are going to see what happens if he wears underpants at nighttime. I did put two pairs on him, and one is a very thick padded kind. But I think if I pay close enough attention when he wakes up in the morning, he will probably stay completely dry!

BASF, Seth's Summer Internship in New Jersey

 Well, we finally know where we are going for the summer! We will be in Florham Park, New Jersey. It is the little red section next to Morristown in the map. Seth got an internship with BASF in their leadership development program. He worked so hard applying, networking, interviewing, etc. for internships! It really paid off. This is a wonderful opportunity for us, and we are so grateful. Now we have to find a place to live for the summer! It will be really fun to be in New Jersey, 30 miles from Manhattan. It is very expensive there though (probably $2,000 a month for a 1 bedroom apartment), so we'll probably end up staying in a one bedroom apartment, and putting our bed in the living room, and John in the bedroom! :-)

                    www.basf.com

BASF is the largest chemical company in the world. It is headquartered in Germany, and it's US headquarters are in New Jersey.

More info about BASF here:
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/BASF

On to exciting adventures! New Jersey, here we come!

Book of Mormon 90 Day Challenge

My Brother Trey and I are going to do this Book of Mormon 90 day reading challenge.

You're welcome to join us! I'm excited! It will be awesome to have this experience and deepen my relationship with Trey. I am going to highlight all the times that Christ is mentioned. I am sure it will be hundreds of times, maybe more. I know that The Book of Mormon is true. It has blessed my life, and I am thankful for it because it helps to clarify the Bible. It does not replace it. Read together, The Bible and The Book of Mormon are the perfect compliment to each other and testaments of Jesus Christ.

"In a meeting with the Twelve Apostles, the Prophet Joseph Smith “told the brethren that the Book of Mormon was the most correct of any book on earth, and the keystone of our religion, and a man would get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book” (History of the Church, 4:461; see also theintroduction to the Book of Mormon)." See BoM Study Guide

One of the modern-day apostles, President Marion G. Romney said:

“I feel certain that if, in our homes, parents will read from the Book of Mormon prayerfully and regularly, both by themselves and with their children, the spirit of that great book will come to permeate our homes and all who dwell therein. The spirit of reverence will increase; mutual respect and consideration for each other will grow. The spirit of contention will depart. Parents will counsel their children in greater love and wisdom. Children will be more responsive and submissive to the counsel of their parents. Righteousness will increase. Faith, hope, and charity—the pure love of Christ—will abound in our homes and lives, bringing in their wake peace, joy, and happiness” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1980, 90; or Ensign, May 1980, 67). See BoM Study Guide Ch 1

Here is the Link to the 90 Day Book of Mormon Challenge Chart So you can follow along!