Happy Mother's Day 2015

I am exceedingly thankful to be the mother of this wonderful child. John is a great blessing to us!

We got to talk to Seth for 10 wonderful minutes. He looks happy and safe. And it seems like he is learning a lot. I'm very glad that he got to go to church today, and that it is so close by. It is truly a miracle that The Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day Saints is pretty much everywhere in the world.

After church, we got to go to Reynoldsburg, Ohio, to visit my paternal grandma, Phyllis Paver Shepard. She was very glad to see us, and John really put a smile on her face. He was very sweet, and gave kisses, and said Happy Mother's Day!

At grandma's we also got to see some of our very favorite people, my aunt Laura (in red), and my aunt Candi (in black). John absolutely adores them, and the feeling is mutual. John was really excited about that pink flamingo. He carried it around almost the whole time. We got to see the video of aunt Laura skydiving yesterday. She is a daredevil!

I am thankful for the wonderful women in my life. There are too many to number. Our mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, sisters-in-law, cousins, friends, mentors, teachers. We are so blessed.

John is having a really hard time with Papa being gone. He does wonderfully when we go out, he was a little angel at church, and cuddled, and folded his arms, and played quietly the whole time. But when we get home, John struggles, he asks when Papas coming home, and it is like he knows that something's missing, and it is. It is lonely here without Seth. We sure miss him! 

Although there are many two-year-old tantrums when we are at home, I know that John loves me. I love him so much. When I called my mom, John told her, "I have mama!" So sweet. 

We are going to pretend like it is Mother's Day after Papa comes home. :-)

He's On His Way!

We're missing Papa already. John keeps asking me, "where's Papa?" "Is Papa coming?" "I want to see Papa." So do I. 

We took this picture right before we dropped him off at the Columbus Airport today. He is on his way to Nairobi, Kenya! He's going to help with a project that helps people carry and store water more easily and sanitarily. The trip and project have been organized by the OSU MBA school. Even though we will sure miss him for 3 weeks, It is such a great opportunity for Seth! We're excited for him! :)

The flowers come from an admirer, but it's no secret

I love spring time. It is a reminder to me that God loves us. That's why He sends us flowers every year. :)

Recognizing Blessings

Here I am with John today, I thought that we were taking a video, but really I just took our picture. But thankfully, he was willing to do the video a second time.

I am not sure why, but John was having a seriously hard time this morning. I jokingly said Seth could take John to school with him :-) after alphabet school, I pretty much had to drag John home, because he didn't want to leave. Then, after a colossal tantrum that seem to last a very long time, I held him in my arms on the couch and talked to him about what was going on. Finally, he gave in and cuddled with me for a few minutes. After a few minutes though, he was fast asleep in my arms. So exhausted. --- It was truly a beautiful moment that I cherish, holding hm in my arms, safe and warm and loved. I know that it can't  always be that way, he will grow up. I am so thankful to have this blessing now. Even though there are tantrums and challenges, it is so worth it being a mother. Just for those glimpses of true joy and peace. 

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John is doing great using the potty! I think he has had one accident this week, and that's it! He has been in underwear the whole time, even at night, and he is telling us whenever he needs to go! This is a very exciting time :-) I am proud of him.

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I am truly loving reading The Book of Mormon again! I have read it quite a few times. And every time I learn new things, or remember important things that I've forgotten. Today I was reading about two brothers, Nephi and Laman. They were both in the wilderness on a journey, for eight years. They were on the same journey, yet they saw it so differently. They both admitted that they had had many trials. Laman saw them through the perspective of pessimism; he complained about it, and said that it would have been better if they had never gone on the journey anyway. That it might have even been better to have died that to go through those trials. He wished for the things of the past, saying that he might have been happy had things been different. I am tempted in times of life that are difficult, to see things this way.

Nephi acknowledges that they have suffered great trials, but he focuses on the fact that they were strengthened by the Lord. He can see how they have grown and developed on their journey through their afflictions when they have relied upon the Lord. He says "so great were the blessings of the Lord upon us"

And he comes to this conclusion:

"And thus we see that the commandments of God must be fulfilled. And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and strengthen them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them; wherefore, he did provide means for us while we did sojourn in the wilderness."

See The Book of Mormon, first Nephi chapter 17 verse three

I want to see with eyes like Nephi, and to recognize the blessings of the Lord always. We are all on our own journeys through the wilderness of life. And we can choose how view them. I choose to see my blessings. And I am greatly blessed! I'm so thankful for my life, for the lessons God is teaching me, for my loving family and the joy that I have because of them, even when times are hard. God has been so good to us.

We're On Our Way to Morristown!

We found a place to live in Morristown, New Jersey! It costs and arm and a leg to live there, but I talked with an LDS realtor in the area, and she said it is unheard of to find a 3 month lease anywhere for less than $4,000/month, and we found one for $2,000. I am very relieved. Now I am trying to iron out the details, and make all the payments for security deposits and fees. We have to pay $3650 in deposits and fees just to get the key....

But it's in the prime location - 3 miles from Seth's work! So we won't have to buy a second car. He can bike. We won't even have to put our bed in the living room, although we wanted to - to save some money. In New Jersey, if you're a family of 3, you can't rent a 1 bedroom - it's illegal... what's with that? And If you have twin babies of different genders, and you are renting an apartment, it is illegal for them to share a room, even though they're babies! Ok, I'm off my rant. It is what it is, and we have a place to stay, and it looks way nice! So if it's all we could get, I am glad that it is nice, and that we are paying for something good, not something gross or unsafe.

And our apt. is right next to a park with a big playground! There are 2 museums, a bus station, and a train station (that takes you right to Manhattan) within walking distance (even for me! which is saying something...) There are parks dotting the neighborhood. Downtown Morristown is very close by as well, and it looks so quaint with all these little restaurants and shops and flowers. And there is a cemetery about a mile away! I love cemeteries because they are beautiful and full of history! And because I am a geneologist, and I'm just into finding my ancestors, and other people's too. And LA Fitness, my gym is only 11 min away, so I can still swim often, and Seth's gym 3 miles away from our apartment. It's really a great location! --- Can you tell I'm excited for the summer!? It will be great! I'm most excited to see more of Seth in the evenings because he won't have homework for the summer :)

And please bless Mama

Today started very rough. We have been potty training John, and the first couple days went great! And then everything fell apart. This morning, after four accidents in a row, and spending half the morning sitting in the bathroom with John (he would wait to be in his underpants 10 min. after I took him off the potty...) I was at my wits end, and in tears. I am grateful for my loving heavenly father who is patient with me even when I lost all patience.

I called my friend Kyla, and even though she was at the zoo, she took a few minutes to help me calm down, give some empathy and just listen.

Then, my sweet husband acknowledged what a hard day I was having, and did me a favor, by finding out that we will be spending the summer in Florham Park New Jersey. (so we can finally try to find an apartment!)

I was giving John a snack before nap time, and as I helped him say the prayer, I prompted him to say "Please bless Abuela" (who was on an airplane, we  miss her so much already!) and John , of his own accord said "and please bless Mama...and Papa." 

I started crying again, happy tears this time. It was like a light, a bean of sunshine bursting through the clouds. It was a sweet moment, God's answer to my prayer to be patient with John and to just love him.

After snack, we snuggled up to read a book, and John almost fell asleep in my arms. He was so tired! I decided not to give up, I would try again after naptime. Amazingly enough, after naptime, he didn't have a single accident for the rest of the day. And went potty four times. He was much better behaved in the afternoon, and so was I. My sweet husband came home, and really held to lighten the mood, and help us get back on track.

We will not give up!

He Giveth Power to the Faint

Today, I was reading one of my favorite passages in Isaiah (Isa. 40:26-31). It always helps me have hope and remember that the Lord will give me the strength that I need, and that although I am as a grain of the sand in the sea, He knows my name and my concerns, and He loves me. I know He loves you the same way!

26 Lift up your eyes on high, and behold who hath created these things, that bringeth out their host by number: he calleth them all by names by the greatness of his might, for that he is strong in power; not one faileth.

 27 Why sayest thou, O Jacob, and speakest, O Israel, My way is hid from the Lord, and my judgment is passed over from my God?

 28 ¶Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that theeverlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searchingof his understanding.

 29 He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.

 30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:

 31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew theirstrength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Saving worms

I like to save worms. Whenever there's a rainstorm, and worms are washed onto the sidewalk, I always want to save them if I can. I don't like to touch them with  my fingers if I can help it. But worms are worth saving. The soil needs more and more worms to keep it healthy. Today Seth said, healthy soil, healthy food. I absolutely agree. There was a huge worm in the road behind my car, and I put it on the grass so that I could find the soil again. John and I our neighbors, Stella, and Elsie were as intrigued as John!

Motherhood is a Blessing

John and I went to the conservatory again today. We both really love it there. We got to explore a lot more of it today. And we were thankful to be able to roam around, because it was pouring outside. John was so thrilled to see all the butterflies. It is a humbling thing to be able to learn with a child. To be able to see things with wonder as John does is a great gift to me. I love being a mother. It is my dream job; it is the hardest one I could have chosen. But it is also the one that brings the most joy and the one in which I can do the most good.

A Place of Love and Beauty

This week, I went to the temple. (I try to go every week whenever I can, since we live so close to the temple now). I love the temple. In one of John's favorite songs, "I Love to See the Temple," it calls the temple "A place of love and beauty," and I truly felt that. not just on the outside is the temple beautiful, but on the inside. It not just that though. The people who are in the temple make it beautiful, maybe not because they look like super models, but just because they are full of goodness and light and kindness and joy. When I was leaving, one of the nice women that was working with me in the temple, a temple worker (a volunteer who spends about 6 hours every other week, helping people in the temple - a wonderful job!!), said to me with such sincerity, "Oh thank you so much for being here! You are so lovely! You have such a pretty face." On that day, I wasn't wearing any make-up, and hadn't even gotten a shower in that day, but she thought I was beautiful. I hope that was partly because of the way I am on the inside. I hope that I can add to the beauty and love in the temple. I felt so much love there. Everything we do in the temple is because of love.

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It snowed a whole heap this morning, and the roads were deemed unsafe. Church was cancelled. We live in an amazing place, in which more than half of the tenants are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Some of our friends, the Shurtz family, invited everyone who wanted to to join them at there home to have church there. They had already prepared a lesson for the children in their primary class (the children's Sunday School), and their neighbor had already prepared a lesson that she could teach to the adults. So we all got dressed in our Sunday Best (John loves to wear a tie and go to church!) and walked the 7 houses down to the Shurtz' home. It was wonderful! We had an inspiring discussion about the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I am so grateful to be a member of this church. It enriches every aspect of my life, and I could not do without it. 

Waaahoooooo!!! I did it!!!

Yes.
I did it.
I. SWAM. A. MILE!

I didn't think it would be this soon. I am so thankful for this body that God has given me! I am thankful that after all I have been through, God is giving me the chance to exercise my body and to build strength and endurance again. It is such a blessing to have a healthy body! I feel that because I know I can do this, now, the possibilities are even greater. I will keep working, and I will keep progressing.

For those of you that don't know  much of my story, just know that 1 year ago, I started physical therapy because I was still having trouble walking a year and a half after my son was born. Stairs were a great challenge, walking around the block, unthinkable at that point. But I knew God would bless me, and he did. First of all, he blessed me with a helpful and supportive husband, and a wonderful son to brighten my life. He blessed me with 2 amazing physical therapists, as well as an amazing counselor, a place that I could swim while John plays and has a blast, and I am doing so much better now!

And, although my muscles feel a little like Jello, it's a good Jello feeling. As I used to tell my therapist Andrew, I know that I worked hard enough that I got a great workout, but not so much that I can function afterwards. That's the right kind of Jello-feeling.

I think I might try to fit in a mile swim once a month, now that I know I can do it. This first time, it took me 51 min. 48 sec. That gives me a lot of room for improvement :) Here's the record I'm keeping. It keeps changing as I get better and better. It is so great to look back, only to see how far I've come.

Now I plan to "Just keep swimming."

Try and Keep on Trying - Just Keep Swimming

I've been swimming about 3 times a week since December. I've now swum (swam? I don't think swum should be a word... it's so weird...) 25 times, and I'm making progress little by little. My hope is to be able to swim a mile in one exercise session. I started in December with being able to do 15 laps. I've worked my way up to 30. I've taught myself how to do flip turns, and now do them regularly whenever I swim. I've learned how to improve my form in all the strokes, and I know the stronger I get, the better I will be able to do them. :) I believe that I could do 40 now, but maybe not be able to take care of my family on the same day too. So I will take the advice of someone that I have learned a lot from. Dory. One of John's and my favorite characters. She simply says, "Just keep swimming." (Dory, Finding Nemo). And perhaps it is just that simple. I just need to put one arm in front of the other, just keep kicking my legs. I know that I've gotten stronger in the last 3 months, and I will keep making progress as I just keep swimming.

Here is one of my favorite quotes from the apostle, Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Try and keep on trying until that which seems difficult becomes possible—and that which seems only possible becomes habit and a real part of you." Dieter F. Uchtdorf, The Love of God It is true. If we try and keep on trying, things will become possible, and then get easier, and then become a habit. I'm so thankful to know this! It makes life so much more doable.
Here is his full address if you would like to watch it. You'll be glad you did.

Kroger has my number

Every time I go to Kroger,  I walk in through the coldness of winter, and I see this beauty before me!

It is all I can do not to buy these beautiful plants! Especially in the azaleas. Kroger has my number! They know what I love. 

But then sets very logical and rational Royce comes into my mind that I got to take lots of beautiful produce home with me, and we're not even going to be here in the summer because of our internship

And I am already growing my own garden at home. My wheatgrass garden :-) so, once again, I resisted dipping into our very small student budget for my flower-full fancies, and I came home and enjoyed the beautiful greenness of my wheat grass :-)

I am thankful for beautiful plants! And the miracle grocery stores! And the blessing that I can eat all the oranges I want through this cold winter :-)

And thank goodness for oranges and wheatgrass! Seth and John are sick. Seth has been sick for a week, and he has finals starting on Friday! And John been feeling pretty low. He's had a fever, and today he threw up four times. While he did, each time, he kept saying "nope....nope" because he really didn't want to.

John is so adorable when he is sick though, he is so cuddley and docile. He warms my heart. John and Seth both had blessings today, and they will be alright. And john has a doctors appointment tomorrow, just in case.

Going shorter!

Pockets on Mr. Style

How could I not adore this little boy?

I asked him to smile for the camera and this is what he did :) Mr. GQ with his hands in his pockets.

Unfortunately he's not that well behaved all the time, which can get my goat when I've spent all the morning preparing an a feeding him breakfast and juice, and getting us both ready and bundled to go to the gym; then after quite a workout, to come home and try to get him in the house. But he doesn't want to go In the house. He wants to stay in the road and play with the mud and ice.... Throws a massive fit on the sidewalk, and gives me the dead fish, arched back arms in the air while wearing his puffy  coat as I'm trying to get him in the house.

My already exhausted Body just about gave out and collapsed on the concrete. Thankfully I was able to get him in the house, still mid-tantrum.

As I was working my four hour shift this afternoon,  a kind neighbor knocked on our door, to tell us that our keys were stuck in the door. Anyone could have stolen our car. You can imagine my anxiety when I realized I had left the keys in the door for over four hours. I know God was watching out for us. And I am so thankful that no one took our car. Sometimes I wonder if it is really worth it to try to get all bundled up and ready to go out in the snow and ice in the cold, and to get john around. I'm grateful it is already February, and this winter won't last forever. I bit off way more than I could chew  today, and I learned my lesson. When I exhaust myself physically, I cant feel stable mentally and emotionally and everything seems to fall out of place. 

But tomorrow is a new day, thank The Lord, and in the morning, I will greet this cute face with new determination, hopefully after 7:00 AM. And tomorrow, we are staying inside!

things are really falling into place

I am feeling so grateful today! Church was wonderful! I am so thankful that I can be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and I can go every Sunday to church and worship freely. I am thankful to live in a country where we have freedom to worship.

And what a great support group we have a church! It is really miraculous how many wonderful people we know and who are willing to help us in our lives, and be are friends! I am just feeling so much gratitude.

In relief society, our women's organization, I was asked to share an experience that I had last year, and how I have been able to learn and grow since then. It was a great blessing to be able to reflect on how far i've come and how well I am doing. I hope to share more about that this week.

We took a very nice nap this afternoon, and then have a great dinner as a family. It is such a blessing to be able to eat together every day. 

We also enjoyed family home evening together. John loved playing some instruments as we sang, and we taught him a lesson about learning. We also started incorporating the pledge in our family home evening's. John loved to see the flag!

After John was in bed, Seth and I were able to spend some quality time together, and also do some planning. We planned out our whole week and looked at the next couple months. Things are very busy, but under control. I'm thankful that we are learning how to do this kind of life, being in graduate school. it's working for us now.

We also had our budget committee meeting. It was very successful, and we even found out that we have a couple more hundred dollars than we anticipated, and we will be just fine this month and throughout the semester as we stick to our budget. I know God is blessing us so abundantly! He cares about the details of our lives. I know that he honors his promises to us, and that as we keep his commandments he blesses us.

Although my workload and home has significantly increased since Seth has so much work to do at school and interviewing, I really feel like I am able to do it. I was even able to plan out our meals for the entire month this week! I feel so much less anxious because I know what to make for dinner! And I can switch out the days depending on how busy we are, but I know that I will have plenty of options of dinners that I can make in my fridge as I follow my plan. What a blessing! 

I love my siblings!

Hannah - my only older sibling, lives in Seattle Washington (Redmond). wife of Michael Dimond. and wonderful mother of two little boys, James Michael Dimond 3 yrs. and Abram Shepard Dimond 2 mo.

Claire - lives in Provo Utah, just graduated with her bachelors degree from Utah Valley University in sociology, (congrats!!!) and is working in her first full-time job with benefits! She works at a lockdown center for girls with mental and emotional challenges in Provo.

Martha - also lives in Seattle Washington with Hannah and Michael. She works as a caregiver for an autistic teenager, and is preparing to serve as a missionary for our church! Whohoo!

Jacob - lives at home again, just returned from Teresina, Brazil, where he has been serving as a full-time missionary for our church. He is on the ball with an awesome resume, applying for jobs, and will start school this semester at Harper community college

Trey - lives at home, and graduated from high school this past year. He is working at Dick's Sporting Goods, and is preparing for college and a mission.

Ashley - also lives at home, is a senior at Palatine high school. She is a drum major in the band, and she just got her first job, at Panda Express!

I am proud of all of you! It was wonderful to be all together for Christmas.

I love to see the temple

Are church building is right next to the Columbus Temple. Every time we go to church, and we pass the temple as we drive into the parking lot, John says "temple! I'll go inside some day!"

It is wonderful to know that time is already learning to love the temple and look forward to the day that he will go inside and feel the Holy Spirit, to listen, and to pray.

I love being a mother.

So glad that True Charity Never Fails

Today John wasn't feeling too well. I thought about taking him home from church to take a nap so that he could recover, since he wasn't going to nursery, but I felt like I should go to Relief Society (our women's meeting on Sundays at church). I  was very tired, but I went. I am so glad I did. One of my dear new friends here in Columbus, Kelli, gave the most beautiful lesson about how we can turn to Christ to help us when we feel that our own charity is failing, and when we do feel weary in well-doing. "Charity Never Faileth" is the motto of the Relief Society. But we talked of how we are all imperfect. And many times, our own charity (or pure love) does fail. It runs out sometimes. Our own charity is weak sometimes. But someone said that, although this is true, that's not what this scripture is talking about. Although our charity does fail, Christ's love for us never fails, and we can turn to Him for love, help, guidance. We talked of new beginnings, of acknowledging that it's ok to have bad feelings sometime, to feel angry, or frustrated, or sad, etc. But that these feelings are opportunities from God help us recognize when changes need to be made. It isn't one monumental effort. It is the consistent daily effort of a lifetime that will bring us to our goal. We need to be kind and loving to ourselves, to forgive ourselves and start again. Just try again, and keep trying. 

The comments and insights and instruction received in this meeting were sweet and poignant to me. I needed to be there. God knew this was just what I needed. And miracles happened inside me today. I am so thankful I have the privilege to do to church. And that is why I always go, even when I don't want to. God can always show me a better way when I am there at church. It gives me a new perspective and vision for another week.

 

Happiest Halloween :)

I'm pretty proud of my creations this year. Halloween gets more and more fun when you have a child.

John's children are going to play with this airplane... If it survives that long with tune ups :) 

And Seth gets the best husband and dad award! What a sport!

Videos and more pics tomorrow! 

We're pretty tired. It's been a long day.

Happy Halloween!