December 2019 Wagner Review

Through much of December, John and Henry, and then even Seth traded off sicknesses, colds, the flu, etc. Thank the Lord I did not catch them. I kept faithfully drinking my daily herbal tea (just boiled turmeric, ginger, thistle root, cinnamon, cloves and chamomile), and it seemed to keep me healthy. I tried my best to care for eveyone. And the boys certainly enjoyed the extra movie time while they were convelescing. We were grateful that Seth had the time off to recover.

We enjoyed a quiet Christmas at home focused on the Savior and enjoying each other as a family. We kept our tradition of watching "A Muppet's Christmas Carol," and we also added a tradition and listened to the audiobook as a family. It was so inspirational! We leisurely opened presents Christmas morning, the boys were thrilled with Lego sets, and a lifetime membership to online piano lessons with www.hoffmanacademy.com, Seth's new smart TV, a new stainless steel kitchen set for me, and also the promise of a real live puppy for our family this summer!

*Seth surprisingly convinced me that we need a dog now because our kids are only going to be little once, and it will help our children learn to care for something that loves them and become more responsible. And that the dog will help us bond as a family when our foster child comes. He knew exactly how to melt my heart with that one! And now I might be more excited about it than Seth or the boys! We had a great time learning about different dogs and finding out which one would be best for our family. After so much deliberation, we decided on a Cavapoo. A mix between a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel and a Mini-Poodle. Hypo-allergenic and only gets to be about 15 pounds or so. The plan to get a dog this summer is very motivational for all of us to get things in order, and start following a more consitent routine. In December we went down to Ohio for a Shepard family gathering, and on the way, we went to visit a Cavapoo breeder, and we all fell in love! It's a good thing we weren't going right home, because we might not have been able to resist bringing one home right then! Here's a couple short videos of our visit: Part 1, Part 2 Notice how John looks like he is in Heaven! 

We had the missionaries, Elders Whitaker and Kennedy, and a sister from our ward, Kristi Hamilton, over for Christmas dinner.  Another tradition we started  that I would like to continue is that we turned off all the lights except the Christmas Tree, and we each went around the table and said something we know/believe about Christ. John said, "Jesus loves us!" Henry said, "Jesus is kind." Kristi said, "Jesus Christ never gives up on us, no matter what we've done, He's still reaching out to us." It was touching for all of us. With each testimony, we lit one small candle (which was in a loaf of bread). The room got lighter and lighter the more we testified of Christ. Then, when all the candles were lit, we talked about how Jesus Christ is 'the light, the life, and the hope of the world." And we also talked about how Christ is the bread of life.

For our Christmas dessert, we had a delicious Chocolate Pie with bananas and strawberries, and it was a big hit again! It was quite a triumph when I invented it at Thanksgiving, so I thought I'd do a repeat. The crust is made of coconut, dates, pecans and oats, and the chocolate filling was made of roasted sweet potatoes, avovado, cocoa and honey.

My mom and dad, Terri and John Shepard, came to visit us for New Years. We enjoyed Seth's new TV, it's so nice that it connects to the internet, and it made it possible for us to get rid of our big bulky desk, 2 computer monitors and 2 computer towers! (Phew!) My parents took us to dinner at BD's Mongolian BBQ Grill which has something for all of us, which is nice since we like to eat different things. It was very accomodating! Of course, my parents and Seth and I played our customary games of Euker, which is a Shepard family tradition. And my parents were so kind to help us get a year-long membership to The Henry Ford Museum and Greenfield Village. We got to enjoy the Museum, and it is SO Cool! I know we are going to use the membership all the time!

I'm so thankful for special times we can spend with family Happy 2020!

2019 Emily Review - Jumping Onto a New Train

Well, after a long time social media pause, I have decided to try blogging again. I want to have a way to look back on each month to review what happened and what I have learned. We'll see where it goes from here.

January is a time of reflecting on the past year, and I have spent some time on this. 2019 did not turn out how I expected, but it turned out even better. As a quick recap, I received a very strong impression that God had a different direction, a better direction, for me to go in my life. I was constantly led to the idea of fostering-to-adopt a child, which was a very unexpected idea. My health has been quite a challenge ever since I injured my neck in September of 2018, and I didn't feel at all ready to have another child. But after much prayer and research and counselling with my dear Seth, we felt that this was a message from God. He was allowing these health challenges which make it unwise for me to have a baby biologically right now, so that our minds and hearts would be more willing to love and care for a child that is already on earth and waiting for our family.

This was a drastic mindset shift for me, as I was fully gung-ho about starting my own business and podcast, and perhaps even a YouTube Channel, which would help us reach our debt-free financial goal faster, and give me an outlet for all my talents and passions and ambitions. I had even recruited a large bunch of people in our ward at church to participate in the "How to Start Your Own Business Class," because we were the Self Reliance Facilitators in our Ward. I thought that would be the perfect time for me to begin.

We started the process of finding a Foster/Adoption Agency, filling out mountains of paperwork, doing hours and hours of training, and starting to seriously crack down on the clutter in our house to make space for a newcomer, and free up mental and emotional space by letting go of a LOT of stuff in our life.

And as we began that journey, I could see I needed to let go of all the non-essential. I was able to see more and more clearly that we were just fine in our finances, and that we were continually moving forward in our financial goals, and Seth amply provides for us without a second income. I was doing my part by carefully managing the finances we do have, and striving to be frugal and industrious.

I recognized that my little ones will only be little for a few short years. I don't want to miss it because I was blinded by my own ambitions. I could now see that I didn't need to have 100,000 followers on any platform to make a difference for good in the world. The most important followers I have are the 2 little boys that I already have in my home, whose little worlds I get to shape and mold. And I don't want to miss that, even for the world. My husband is my biggest fan, my greatest supporter, and I want to reciprocate that. I am not saying that this path, that I now want, is the right path for everyone. But it is the one for me, right now.

I think God knew that the only I could be brave enough to jump off my "Own Business and Ambitions" Train, was if I could see a more important train nearby, so He gave me this one, and I jumped. The "Set my life priorities in order so we can foster to adopt a child" Train is the one I want to be on right now.

I started giving away trunk loads of stuff almost weekly. Stuff that I planned to repair and make into something new, to upscale and renew and breathe new life into. But finally and thankfully I realized that I need to filter. I can't do that for all the things in my lifetime, only for a select few. So I let them go. I decided not to continue waiting until I "had time" to sell all those things that still had value in the eyes of the world, and I just started giving them away, remembering that God has always provided for our needs, and He will again, especially if we are generous with giving to others what we do not need.

I carefully dismantled my grow room that was set-up to grow enough microgreens for a restaurant, and scaled back just to my couple of shelves in my garden window. I let my giant back yard garden tend to itself, and it seemed to grow just fine without my help. I sorted through all the remnants of past endeavors that I started and never 'finished.' It was a very painful process which included quite a bit of shame and pain realizing how I was distracted from some of the most important things (people) in my life. But it was also full of God's grace, forgiveness and healing. Feelings of hope for change and improvement have also strengthened me through this process.

I let go of taking the business class, realizing that, when I am ready and it's the right time, I'll still be able to start my own business, if that's what I want to do. So, as I look back on 2019, I see my greatest accomplishment as letting go of what wasn't most important, and turning my will to the Lord's. His plans are better than mine, and I look forward to a year of change, stretching, and growth!