Together

I love doing things together with my husband. Tonight we are so excited that my sisters are arriving from Utah! And our house needed some help. So we cleaned the house, together. Not "you clean this room, and I'll clean that room." We cleaned each room together. We did the things we needed to do at the same time and in the same place, and we were able to talk to each other, touch, be affectionate, and just hang out together while we worked. He cleaned the floor, I cleaned the sink. He washed the dishes, I cleaned off the counter. I love working together with my husband, he is the best!

The Power of My Introvert

 Yes, this is my introvert. My powerful introvert named Seth. 

I was talking to my counselor Linda the other day about how I can understand Seth better and the way he thinks, and the way he communicates....or doesn't want to communicate.... :) And she led me to this excellent TED Talk called The Power of Introverts (Seth and I are so in to TED talks right now!) Seth and I both listened to it, and we're going to listen to the whole book together on our upcoming vacation. This has really opened my eyes to how powerful of a leader that Seth is. He's not like me. He wouldn't be called an extrovert or outgoing necessarily. He is quiet, contemplative, relaxed, accepting, kind. (Hopefully I am some of those things at least some of the time.) But these are characteristics that really bring out the true Seth. And I've been conditioned to think in our world that you have to be outgoing, or thought of as a "go-getter," the one making the brilliant comments in class, the one everyone notices, to be....to be successful.

But I've changed my mind, and now I can really see that Seth is a natural and powerful leader, not in the same way that I am, but in a way that complements me. Seth's love and kindness and acceptance and listening skills make him a wonderful leader because he lets those he is managing shine. He lets people be creative and he does not "quash" their creativity because he is so bent on his own plan or his own ideas. When, perhaps I wondered when Seth would take the lead, and preside in his rightful place, I have not realized often enough that he was already leading. He was giving me wings, and that is a powerful way to lead. His gentle influence helps me to be my best self. Sometimes when I am tempted to make a wrong choice, I wonder what Seth would do, I wonder what he would think if I made that choice, and then it helps me to turn back. That is powerful. No, he didn't sit me down and give me a lecture, he just lives in a way that I want to follow him. I want to be like him. I don't want to let him down. That is true power.

Oh how I love my introvert!

Fear not, I am with thee

Today the Lord answered my prayer for a friend of mine who moved away. I have been praying about this for a number of weeks, and I have been diligent and fervent. I was so thrilled today to find out he had answered my prayer for a friend. I'm so thankful that he cares about the details of our lives.

Strawberry Picking

I planted these strawberry plants by our house a few years ago. Yesterday, John and I saw that there were some ripe ones, so we picked them.

He had a blast! He was so eager to eat them, that he even ate one that still had leaves on it! He refused to let me take it out of his mouth....oh well!

I'm thankful that John can learn how food grows, where it comes from, and that it does not grow out of the fridge or in the grocery store.

I'm Doing a Great Work and Cannot Come Down

I felt led to listen to this talk today, "We Are Doing a Great Work and Cannot Come Down," by one of my favorite mentors, the apostle, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. The essence of the message to me was, 

"We cannot and we must not lose focus on the things that matter most."

 President Uchdorf begins by telling a very tragic story of people who lost focus on what was most important because of a very small and minor problem which caused a devastating effect.

"On a dark December night 36 years ago, a Lockheed 1011 jumbo jet crashed into the Florida Everglades, killing over 100 people. This terrible accident was one of the deadliest crashes in the history of the United States.

A curious thing about this accident is that all vital parts and systems of the airplane were functioning perfectly—the plane could have easily landed safely at its destination in Miami, only 20 miles (32km) away.

During the final approach, however, the crew noticed that one green light had failed to illuminate—a light that indicates whether or not the nose landing gear has extended successfully. The pilots discontinued the approach, set the aircraft into a circling holding pattern over the pitch-black Everglades, and turned their attention toward investigating the problem.

They became so preoccupied with their search that they failed to realize the plane was gradually descending closer and closer toward the dark swamp below. By the time someone noticed what was happening, it was too late to avoid the disaster.

After the accident, investigators tried to determine the cause. The landing gear had indeed lowered properly. The plane was in perfect mechanical condition. Everything was working properly—all except one thing: a single burned-out lightbulb. That tiny bulb—worth about 20 cents—started the chain of events that ultimately led to the tragic death of over 100 people.

Of course, the malfunctioning lightbulb didn’t cause the accident; it happened because the crew placed its focus on something that seemed to matter at the moment while losing sight of what mattered most.

The tendency to focus on the insignificant at the expense of the profound happens not only to pilots but to everyone. We are all at risk." 

In the past I would let a story like this only increase my fears and add terror into my idea of flying on an airplane. But now, I am learning that I don't need to do that. I don't need to worry that this could happen to me, for now I have trust in my Heavenly Father. I trust that He is all powerful. I trust that if I am trying to do what is right, though I will make many mistakes, if I keep trying, He will make sure I finish my mission, my purpose in mortality. And returning back to Him would not be the tragedy. Death is not the tragedy, the unlived life is the tragedy. The sad story would be one of a person who does not find their meaning, their eternal purpose in life, the person who does not take the moments to love, to learn, to live. I am learning to see a situation for what it is, as an opportunity to learn something. And I can learn much from this story. 

I have often gotten caught up in the little things, focusing my attention on problems that will not matter in a week or a month or a year. I forget to focus on those things which matter for eternity. When things are difficult, when I am tired or in pain, when I have a challenge that seems to loom large on my horizon, at those times I sometimes forget the joy of my life and I am not as kind, or loving, or considerate to those people who are so important to me, especially my wonderful family. 

I am learning that there is an important place for self-reflection, there is an important time to sort out our own problems, concerns, fears and negative conditioning, It is crucial to take time to replenish and refill, and to maintain a healthy balance between caring for ourselves and caring for others. And I am learning from experience that I need to step back when my personal gas tank is getting low because I cannot handle things well when I have no fuel left.

But recently, when I was delving into the problems of my past in my cognitive therapy, I shifted my focus to how hard it has been, to how much I have suffered. In a conversation with a friend, I even said, "I feel like I am living at the bare minimum. I have had to cut so many things that I love out of my life." I later learned that my friend was surprised, and rightfully so, because I have so many wonderful things going for me.

I was so focused on my pain, my problems, and what I was missing out on, I forgot the wonderful blessings that I have. I had taken the "focus on me" time to an extreme. Because I have focused only on looking outward and have neglected myself for many years, and I'm learning to really start caring for myself, I forgot that I need to keep a balance between looking outward and looking inward. And I was only focusing on the darkness and pain that was inward. When I am caught up in myself or my own problems and don't remember to look outwards, loving and serving others seems like a burden, just another thing on my "to-do" list. When we see something, like serving others, as a burden, I can guarantee it will feel like a burden. But when we see serving others as an opportunity to love and lift someone else, we will feel loved and lifted in return. 

President Uchtdorf continues with a story from the Old Testament that I would like to become more familiar with, 

"Nehemiah of the Old Testament is a great example of staying focused and committed to an important task. Nehemiah was an Israelite who lived in exile in Babylon and served as cupbearer to the king. One day the king asked Nehemiah why he seemed so sad. Nehemiah replied, “Why should not my countenance be sad, when the city, the place of my fathers’ [graves], lieth waste, and the gates thereof are consumed with fire?” ⁴

When the king heard this, his heart was softened, and he gave Nehemiah the authority to return to Jerusalem and rebuild the city. However, not everyone was happy with this plan. In fact, several rulers who lived near Jerusalem grieved exceedingly “that there was come a man to seek the welfare of the children of Israel.” ⁵ These men “took great indignation, and mocked the Jews.” ⁶

Fearless, Nehemiah did not allow the opposition to distract him. Instead, he organized his resources and manpower and moved forward rebuilding the city, “for the people had a mind to work.” ⁷

But as the walls of the city began to rise, opposition intensified. Nehemiah’s enemies threatened, conspired, and ridiculed. Their threats were very real, and they grew so intimidating that Nehemiah confessed, “They all made us afraid.” ⁸ In spite of the danger and the ever-present threat of invasion, the work progressed. It was a time of stress, for every builder “had his sword girded by his side, and so builded.” ⁹

As the work continued, Nehemiah’s enemies became more desperate. Four times they entreated him to leave the safety of the city and meet with them under the pretense of resolving the conflict, but Nehemiah knew that their intent was to do him harm. Each time they approached him, he responded with the same answer: “I am doing a great work, so that I cannot come down.” ¹⁰

What a remarkable response! With that clear and unchanging purpose of heart and mind, with that great resolve, the walls of Jerusalem rose until they were rebuilt in an astonishing 52 days. ¹¹

Nehemiah refused to allow distractions to prevent him from doing what the Lord wanted him to do."

Nehemiah must have felt afraid or weary or weak at times, but he did not let that get in the way of focusing on what mattered most. My friend and I spoke yesterday about how we often let those little things bother us and push us over the edge that really don't matter at all in the long run. We feel very deeply our weakness in this area. Although I have these excellent lessons that I am learning and that I believe, will I apply them perfectly in my life? No. I find that I can't. I have sometimes seen myself as a hypocrite if I don't do everything that I know to be true perfectly. But I keep trying, and I know now that I will not be a hypocrite if I just keep trying. For I know that "Our destiny is not determined by the number of times we stumble, but by the number of times we rise up, dust ourselves off and move forward." ("You Can Do It Now, Pres. Uchtdorf)

So, just like Nehemiah, I will keep building my wall, and I will rally others to build with me, and we will help each other. We will not let ourselves get distracted by the little lights that have burnt out in our lives so that we forget all the perfectly functional things in our lives. We can replace those light bulbs, yes, but we will stay focused on what matters most: our loved ones and friends, the people around us, our eternal meaning and purpose and the love that God has for us.

 For we are doing a great work, and we cannot come down.

John is 22 months old! 5-31-14

Sometimes when people ask John's age, I just tell them he's two! It's easier. Holy cow! He's so close to being 2! And he's been acting like he's 2 for about 6 months now...
It's hard to believe that almost 2 years has already passed!

 We are just in love with this little boy!

 

John has developed something that we like to call The Frankenstein's Monster Walk. While he’s having a tantrum, he stiffens up, arches his back, and puts his arms out as he stumbles around. It's pretty hilarious.

John and Stella are really becoming pals. They have so much fun together. Oh how we will miss the Winders!

Having fun visiting with Aunt Candi, Aunt Laura, and Great Grandma Phyllis Paver Shepard.

The many faces of John 

It may be hard to believe with all the gorgeous smiles on this post, but “No” is John's favorite word, and it often appears in slews of six or seven or eight times in a row, just to emphasize his point. He says no automatically if I ask him any question, even before he has time to contemplate whether or not he would like to say yes. Even if it would be an absolute yes, he precursors his real answer with no, just in case. Then maybe he might say yes.

John is now learning how to share, and really enjoying playing with other kids (not just around other kids), most of the time....

 

John is starting to play pretend and talk to himself when he plays and starting to sing. He loves to dance, he gets so excited whenever music comes on. His dancing is becoming even more expressive and fun.

John loves to watch a certain scene from "Tangled" every time he finishes taking a bath. We started doing that when it was getting unmanageable to keep him still enough to dry his hair, comb it and get his clothes on. As soon as his bath is over, he asks "horsey?" He loves the horse and the chameleon in the movie! He could watch it a thousand times...and he probably will...

John is really amazing at talking. He is my personal parrot. He usually tries to say anything that I try to say. He is so curious about the world around him, and he wants to know the name of everything that he sees, and he will try to say it's name weather in English or Spanish or both. He is also doing great with signing. Signing is what helps us bridge the gap between Spanish and English.

John basically has all of his teeth except his two year old molars. His two bottom canines are still working on poking through, but they're almost there. His teeth have opened up so many new foods, it's so great that John and eat so many different things now! We are currently obsessed with black olives. Olives!? Who knew!? I didn't like them growing up, but John is opening up new horizons to me. John is in love with bananas. Those are his dessert. He really loves grapes tomatoes, avocado and corn right now.

Our little guy loves to give hugs. Sometimes when he sees his friend, Stella, they will give each other a big hug or two or three. The other day they fell over during a very enthusiastic hug :)
John blows kisses, says "Night, Night." tries to say, "I love you." He is such a sweet boy. John is becoming very polite too! He says and signs please and thank you and understands them in Spanish. When he says please, he really says, "Kweee?" and when he says thank you it seems like he really says, "Here you go."

John loves to count and sing the ABC's, he tries to sign with me and sometimes he'll walk around the house and just say random letters and numbers. Sometimes when we count together he will actually say the correct number after the last one that I said!

 

John loves when he discovers a new skill! He was so thrilled when he figured out how to carry this rake :)

Oh John, you bring color, joy and light to our life. We love you!