John is 17 Month's Old! 12-31-13

I know it's a couple months late, but I'm trying to catch up! :)

 Christmas Eve

Christmas Day

Shepard Family New Years 2013

Who We Are

This is an excellent 2 minute video that explains the basic principles and facts about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, who we are and that we are a Christ-Centered faith. Watch and SHARE!

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We are on our way this weekend to Columbus for the Red Carpet Event! OSU Fisher MBA School is going to put Seth and me up in a hotel in downtown Columbus for 2 nights, show us the city on a tour as well as neighborhoods we could possibly live in, give us a preview of the program, have a question and answer panel for spouses, talk about financial aid, career services, and have lunches and dinners for us to meet and mingle with current students, alumni and students that will be in Seth's class. We are way excited!

This is also be our very first time away from John, and a whole weekend! I am a little nervous, but I'm sure he will be totally fine. I have much more separation anxiety than John does. My wonderful Aunts, Laura, Candi and Diane have offered to take care of John for us so that we can get away. He'll have so much fun with them.

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I am sad that this Red Carpet weekend over-lapped with the weekend that the Wagner Women are getting together. Missing you all! Have a great time together!

Happy weekend!

PT Progress

Physical therapy went well today! My therapist, Andrew, is great - good listener, supportive, encouraging, knows how to help me push my limits without overextending, friendly, empathetic, knowledgeable, etc. He reminded me that I've just got to start from where I'm at. And that wherever I'm at is ok. He started me on some deep water exercises that helped take some of the pain away from my back.  And I sat in the hot tub and stretch afterwards, and that helped me to feel better. I am thankful. Yay! progress!

Learn to Laugh - No Use Crying Over Spilled...Smoothie

Almost every day, Seth wakes up early and makes fresh fruit/veggie juice for me and John. It is an arduous task and a labor of love. It is something I cannot do while I care for John in the morning. This has been a great blessing for us. It helps our digestion immensely. Yesterday Seth gave me my juice, and set it down on the floor so that I could dress John. I forgot of course (lesson learned) and after I picked up John I couldn't see the floor and I kicked it over onto our shag carpet. Half of this juice is made from carrots. It is bright orange. I was shocked, and knew it would be a terrible job to get it out of that carpet, and I was sad because I had wanted to drink that juice. I cried. Yes, it's true. I cried a good cry and apologized so many times. Seth comforted me by not being bothered and telling me, "I've wanted to get rid of that carpet anyways." He cleaned it up because I couldn't. Then, he made me juice again, even though I told him not to. he made it for me because he knew it would help my body work better. he didn't scold me once or complain about having a clumsy wife. If that's not a Christlike husband, I don't know what is. I am so thankful. I am so blessed.

Then today was going well. I had taken sufficient rests during John's naps and really tried not to overdo it. I made our daily smoothie for us. And it was a good one. I tasted it and knew it was a winner and John would love it. I even made extra to share with our neighbors and with Seth when he came home. I filled John's sippy cup, and as I turned to reach for another glass, my vest pocket caught on the spout of the Vitamix pitcher sending it flying (literally flying). This produced quite the result. The entire kitchen was splattered and all but a couple ounces of the smoothie was no longer in the pitcher. It hit everything from floor to almost ceiling and even went into the dining room.

But  before I began to cry over my spilled smoothie, I stepped back to decide how I should react to this disaster. I remembered yesterday. I didn't feel any better after I cried about my spilled juice, and I though of how Seth laughed it off and didn't scold, and just made some more juice.

 So I thought I'd try Seth's way. I cracked a smile and tried to laugh. It didn't make my smoothie go back into the pitcher, but it hurt less than crying. And how would crying help anyway? I decided to think of my blessings. At least John was playing over at the neighbors instead of swimming in the smoothie lake on the floor (as he assuredly would have). At least I still had some smoothie to give to John and a couple ounces for me. And Seth came home shortly after the splatter and helped me clean it all up. And my kitchen needed a good deep clean anyway. We were putting it off, but there was no time like the present today for kitchen cleaning! And even though my muscles hurt quite a bit, and still do, after the exertion of cleaning up my mess. God sent much help, and we'll make a new smoothie tomorrow. And now I have a great story to file away, and awesome pics to prove it.

This experience reminded me of one of my favorite apostles, Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin. He gave this talk, "Come What May, and Love It."

He says, The way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life.

Every life has peaks and shadows and times when it seems that the birds don’t sing and bells don’t ring. Yet in spite of discouragement and adversity, those who are happiest seem to have a way of learning from difficult times, becoming stronger, wiser, and happier as a result.

Isn't that the truth? He shares these great stories of laughing in times that you might choose to cry, get angry or frustrated.

I remember loading up our children in a station wagon and driving to Los Angeles. There were at least nine of us in the car, and we would invariably get lost. Instead of getting angry, we laughed. Every time we made a wrong turn, we laughed harder.

Getting lost was not an unusual occurrence for us. Once while heading south to Cedar City, Utah, we took a wrong turn and didn’t realize it until two hours later when we saw the “Welcome to Nevada” signs. We didn’t get angry. We laughed, and as a result, anger and resentment rarely resulted. Our laughter created cherished memories for us.

I remember when one of our daughters went on a blind date. She was all dressed up and waiting for her date to arrive when the doorbell rang. In walked a man who seemed a little old, but she tried to be polite. She introduced him to me and my wife and the other children; then she put on her coat and went out the door. We watched as she got into the car, but the car didn’t move. Eventually our daughter got out of the car and, red faced, ran back into the house. The man that she thought was her blind date had actually come to pick up another of our daughters who had agreed to be a babysitter for him and his wife.

We all had a good laugh over that. In fact, we couldn’t stop laughing. Later, when our daughter’s real blind date showed up, I couldn’t come out to meet him because I was still in the kitchen laughing. Now, I realize that our daughter could have felt humiliated and embarrassed. But she laughed with us, and as a result, we still laugh about it today.

The next time you’re tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead. It will extend your life and make the lives of all those around you more enjoyable.

This is what I am doing. I am learning to laugh. And "every day in every way, I'm getting better and better." I'm making progress. Yesterday I cried. Today I laughed. I stilled spilled my precious nectar both times. But laughing felt better, so next time, and I am sure there will be many next times, I'll try to laugh.

Happy to be alive

I am not exactly sure what to write about tonight. I am just happy. My body feels like sore jello again (had physical therapy tonight, and I met two nice ladies named Nancy and Alice), and it is difficult to get my fingers to type this. But I want to say that I am happy.

As I drove home from PT, instead of listening to Coldplay, as I did on my way there - love them! - I decided to think about and pray for every member of my family in their individual circumstances, Wagner's and Shepard's. I feel full of love for all my family. How blessed I am!

Our nephew Bryce hadn't arrived yet in this picture. Our family grows pretty fast!

Thank You Mr. Gardener

I am so glad I went to church today! Among two other wonderful talks, my friend Katie gave a talk that was just for me (so it seemed) She shared this story (below) and I feel just like the little currant bush. Right now I'm pretty much the stump with tears on top, but I am trying to see the vision that God has in store for me.

God uses another form of chastening or correction to guide us to a future we do not or cannot now envision but which He knows is the better way for us. President Hugh B. Brown, formerly a member of the Twelve and a counselor in the First Presidency, provided a personal experience. He told of purchasing a rundown farm in Canada many years ago. As he went about cleaning up and repairing his property, he came across a currant bush that had grown over six feet (1.8 m) high and was yielding no berries, so he pruned it back drastically, leaving only small stumps. Then he saw a drop like a tear on the top of each of these little stumps, as if the currant bush were crying, and thought he heard it say:

“How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. … And now you have cut me down. Every plant in the garden will look down on me. … How could you do this to me? I thought you were the gardener here.”

President Brown replied, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and someday, little currant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down.’”

Years later, President Brown was a field officer in the Canadian Army serving in England. When a superior officer became a battle casualty, President Brown was in line to be promoted to general, and he was summoned to London. But even though he was fully qualified for the promotion, it was denied him because he was a Mormon. The commanding general said in essence, “You deserve the appointment, but I cannot give it to you.” What President Brown had spent 10 years hoping, praying, and preparing for slipped through his fingers in that moment because of blatant discrimination. Continuing his story, President Brown remembered:

“I got on the train and started back … with a broken heart, with bitterness in my soul. … When I got to my tent, … I threw my cap on the cot. I clenched my fists, and I shook them at heaven. I said, ‘How could you do this to me, God? I have done everything I could do to measure up. There is nothing that I could have done—that I should have done—that I haven’t done. How could you do this to me?’ I was as bitter as gall.

“And then I heard a voice, and I recognized the tone of this voice. It was my own voice, and the voice said, ‘I am the gardener here. I know what I want you to do.’ The bitterness went out of my soul, and I fell on my knees by the cot to ask forgiveness for my ungratefulness. …

“… And now, almost 50 years later, I look up to [God] and say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me.’”⁵

God knew what Hugh B. Brown was to become and what was needed for that to happen, and He redirected his course to prepare him for the holy apostleship.

If we sincerely desire and strive to measure up to the high expectations of our Heavenly Father, He will ensure that we receive all the help we need, whether it be comforting, strengthening, or chastening. If we are open to it, needed correction will come in many forms and from many sources. It may come in the course of our prayers as God speaks to our mind and heart through the Holy Ghost (see D&C 8:2). It may come in the form of prayers that are answered no or differently than we had expected. Chastening may come as we study the scriptures and are reminded of deficiencies, disobedience, or simply matters neglected.

"You do so much good"

Today my friend Anne Evans and I were having a wonderful heart to heart. I was feeling pretty down on myself not being able to do everything I'd like to, and not being able to do what I do perfectly. Anne then told me something like this, "But you do so much good! Just the way you live your life, who you are. Just think about the good you do on your blog. I read it all the time and it always uplifts me."

Wow. Anne, you made my day. Thanks for being a great friend and for helping me feel like what I can do makes a difference. God is kind to us. When we're down and we ask for help, He sends friends like Anne to cheer us up. I'm feeling grateful.

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This is how I'm feeling about John right now. He is the cutest little monster I have ever seen! He sure gets into mischief and is the busiest little boy, but my goodness, he's so adorable....

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I had my LASIK Pre-Op appointment today. We've been saving for this for over a year, and we finally have just enough! Seth took me while Anne played with John (PS, Anne, have I told you, you're the best ever!?) They messed with my eyes for like an hour, and dilated them and shined bright lights in them....whoa. I'm so glad Seth was driving. My eyes have been pretty sore today, but this is so going to be worth it! The doctor says I have a 90% chance of 20/20 vision after the procedure. Here's hoping! Surgery scheduled for March 7th!

Happy Valentine's Day!

I just want to say I LOVE YOU to all you wonderful people in my life - to my husband, son, family and friends. I am deeply blessed to have you all in my life.

Because love is the great commandment, it ought to be at thecenter of all and everything we do in our own family, in our Church callings, and in our livelihood. Love is the healing balm that repairs rifts in personal and family relationships. It is the bond that unites families, communities, and nations. Love is the power that initiates friendship, tolerance, civility, and respect. It is the source that overcomes divisiveness and hate. Love is the fire that warms our lives with unparalleled joy and divine hope. Love should be our walk and our talk.”

The Love of GodDieter F. Uchtdorf

Love and Happiness in Family Life 

Happy Birthday Grandpa!

Happy 80th Birthday to my Grandpa Claude Hubbard! John is clapping for you, he's so excited to celebrate!

The Other Prodigal

We watched this video for Family Home Evening, and I learned and felt much. 

Sometimes we feel that if another person is successful or added unto in some way, that it diminishes our own success. Or if someone has much, then we have even less. But really what affects us is our own attitude. I have been weighed down with these very thoughts before, but they have never made me feel happier. I am only happy when I am counting my blessings however great or small. So lets all count our blessings.

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I had my first real physical therapy session yesterday, and I am starting a lot further behind than I though I was, and then my therapist though I was. He kept telling me to do 2 sets of 15, and when I couldn't do more than 7 at a time....he he to make different plans. Then I got in the water, and it was nice to my joints but I could feel the resistance. That will help me get stronger. My blood pressure is a little messed up. My therapist looked very concerned and asked me, "Are you usually this low?" ... "Well, how low is 'this low'?" 90 over 50. Well, for the last 10 months or so since I developed Autonomic Dysreflexia it has been. That's why I feel so dizzy. Then getting out of the pool I was 88 or 44.... hmmm... I'm glad I have trained professionals managing my way back into active exercising. If I faint, at least they'll be there to pull me out of the pool :)

Today I did my physical therapy home exercises as I graded the TOEFL while a friend of mine, Katie Taylor, (who is an angel) watched John. It was difficult and made me feel weak and sore, but I think it's the good kind of discomfort. Seth tells me you have to break your muscles down a little to help them make room to build some more. Maybe he is right. He is doing ab workouts with a 45 pound weight on an inclined bench, and I am laying on the ground lifting up my leg...3 sets of 5 twice a day.....and right now that is difficult for me. But then again, Seth's success in exercising is certainly doesn't take away from my own. I can be successful with my 3 sets of 5 twice a day, and soon it will be 3 sets of 6, and then 7 and 8 and 20!

And John had a blast playing with Katie.

I think we need to get this cutie some sunglasses.

First Day of PT

I had my first day of PT. It went well, but now I feel likes sore jello which is a clear indicator that I really need this and if I stick with it, it's going to help :) So that's all for tonight folks.

Why Did He Come?

Tomorrow is my first physical therapy session in the pool! I am excited! We'll see what I can do and then develop a plan with goals that are reasonable for me and that will help me make progress without causing more pain for me. Hooray!

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Today I learned THESE beautiful teachings at church. It's good to learn and understand more about Christ's atonement. I am thankful for that priceless gift, and I want to do all I can to fulfill my part so that the blessings of the atonement may be a daily part of my life. My favorite part of the lesson was this:

Pic from HERE

It is our duty to teach the mission of Jesus Christ. Why did he come? What did he do for us? How are we benefited? What did it cost him to do it? Why it cost his life, yes, more than his life! What did he do besides being nailed on the cross? Why was he nailed there? He was nailed there that his blood might be shed to redeem us from this most terrible penalty that could ever come, banishment from the presence of God. He died on the cross to bring us back again, to have our bodies and spirits reunited. He gave us that privilege. If we will only believe in him and keep his commandments, he died for us that we might receive a remission of our sins and not be called upon to pay penalty. He paid the price. …

… No man could do what he did for us. He did not have to die, he could have refused. He did it voluntarily. He did it because it was a commandment from his Father. He knew what the suffering was going to be; and yet, because of his love for us, he was willing to do it. …

The driving of the nails into his hands and into the Savior’s feet was the least part of his suffering. We get into the habit, I think, of feeling, or thinking that his great suffering was being nailed to the cross and left to hang there. Well, that was a period in the world’s history when thousands of men suffered that way. So his suffering, so far as that is concerned, was not any more than the suffering of other men who have been so crucified. What, then, was his great suffering? I wish we could impress this fact upon the minds of every member of this Church: His great suffering occurred before he ever went to the cross. It was in the Garden of Gethsemane, so the scriptures tell us, that blood oozed from every pore of his body; and in the extreme agony of his soul, he cried to his Father. It was not the nails driven into his hands and feet. Now do not ask me how that was done because I do not know. Nobody knows. All we know is that in some way he took upon himself that extreme penalty. He took upon him our transgressions, and paid a price, a price of torment.

Think of the Savior carrying the united burden of every individual—torment—in some way which I say, I cannot understand; I just accept—which caused him to suffer an agony of pain, compared to which the driving of the nails in his hands and feet was very little. He cried in His anguish, to His Father, “If it be possible, let this cup pass!” and it could not pass [see Matthew 26:42; Mark 14:36; Luke 22:42]. Let me read you just a word or two here of what the Lord says in regard to that:

“For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent;

“But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I;

“Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of the pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—

“Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men.” [D&C 19:16–19.]

When I read that it humbles me. His love for humanity, for the world, was so great that he was willing to carry a burden that no mortal man could carry, and pay an awful price that no other person ever could have paid, that we might escape.¹¹

Optimistic About Therapy

 The Polar Vortex. Seriously, we're thinking about looking for jobs in warm places. Cabin fever is an everyday thing now. I don't know what we'd do without our neighbors the Winder's that we can visit without going outside! My hat goes off to people who actually live in really cold places like Minneapolis. Whoa. Whoa....

I had my physical therapy consultation at the Peter B. Lewis Aquatic Therapy Center on Friday, I really like the facility and my main therapist is great - good listener, friendly, knows what he's talking about (haven't met the other therapists yet but I'm sure they'll be good too). I felt pretty wobbly after the strength test, but I'm sure this will help me build strength and stability again. I have 3 therapy appointments a weeks for the next 2 months. I'm excited! It will be a lot of work, and a lot more leaving my house than I'm used to. But the Lord is already providing help, and I know more will come, and I am so thankful! I'm excited to get in the pool again! I told my therapist I used to be really active, "I was even a diver in highschool." Yes, I was active, and I will be active again! Here's to working towards achievable goals one step at a time!

 I ran out of socks for John today....then Seth found this under his crib :)