Every Day in Every Way I'm Getting Better and Better!

Really, I am! I am getting a little stronger. I had physical therapy tonight, and my therapist (and I) think I've really made some improvements. For many of my exercises that I used to only be able to do 5 reps of at a time (with difficulty), I can now do 10 reps of! That's double! Whoohoo! It is still with great difficulty, but this therapy is working. Little by little, small step by small step.  I am getting stronger. Thank you for your continued prayers, help and support.

The Parable of the Pinecones

I learn so much from John as I observe him play and grow. It has been a VERY long winter, and there has usually been 1 or 2 feet of snow covering everything. But finally, it melted and was slightly above freezing so that we could go outside to play. John was enthralled by every little thing he sees. He wants to see, hear, hold, touch, taste... anything within his reach, especially the pine cones.

John tried to stuff as many as possible into his hands, but he kept falling and getting stuck. He wouldn't even move for fear of losing his pine cones. He wouldn't set them down so that he could be free to get up. If John would only let the pine cones go and put them on the ground for a little while, he would be able to stand up by himself . After he was standing and balanced again he would be able to pick the pine cones back up and go merrily on his way. There is an endless supply of pine cones. There will always be pine cones. No matter how long it takes him to stand up he will always be able to find some pine cones. 

But if John won't let them go, then he won't be balanced, and he won't be able to stand up, and he'll just be on the ground trying to hold on to his pine cones. Each time this happens, he cries out or whines because he is stuck. That doesn't help him or anybody else. It isn't fun for him to be stuck on the ground. It would be so much better for him to let go and stand up. He might have to choose from different pine cones after he stands up if those ones exactly are not there. However, pine cones are much alike, and you can find just as much fun with one as with another.  

If John tries to cram so many pine cones in his hand he will have to hold them too tightly and they will be crushed and broken , so it would just be better for him to hold what he can and wait until later. Right now, one pine cone in each hand is all John's little hands are big enough to hold well. If he tries to hold two at a time in each hand, they get squished or bent, or his hand gets cramped, or he drops them both. He doesn't know how to use pockets yet, nor does he have a basket, bucket or bag to assist him. Someday John's hands will be bigger, and he can hold more in each hand, and he will be able to utilize different tools like baskets and pockets to carry more. But for now, 2 pine cones is just the right amount for John in his life, so John must always choose very wisely and only pick the very best and most important pine cones to hold on to.

This experience has been most instructive for me. I have learned that I am very similar to John in the respect that I have been trying to hold on too many activities and things that I feel like are important in my life right now (no matter what) that are keeping me from healing and recovering or just from being balanced. All of the things that I do are like these pine cones. I've been trying to hold too many pine cones in my hands. When I stumble and fall; when I am really down, if I keep trying to hold onto these pine cones, I won't be balanced, and I won't be able to stand up. 

I feel that this experience is a great blessing from the Lord to help me see that I need to set the pine cones down I need to right now cut out those things from my life that are not helping me to heal and recover. I can pick them up later again when I have the balance, and when my hands are free enough. 

Right now I just need to focus on the absolutely essential parts of my life when I am better, and my hands are more free. There will always be pine cones to hold and enjoy. I will find plenty of pine cones, more than enough, and I will have to decide, as I am now, which pine cones are the the best ones to keep in my hands and which ones would be best to just leave on the ground. Perhaps someday I will develop skills to fit these certain activities and things in my pocket or in a basket, these pine cones of mine. However I have also learned from John's childlike wonder of everything that he sees, that if you have too many things in your hand or in your basket you cannot truly dedicate yourself to understanding and seeing the beauty of each thing. It is better to have a smaller basket and put the most beautiful and the most important pine cones in and enjoy them to the fullest and and leave the other ones for the ground. Someone else can enjoy those. 

And it really doesn't matter how many or which pine cones are in anyone else's hands or baskets. Those aren't my pine cones. Those don't need to be mine. I have my own. There are plenty for all. And I will enjoy the ones I have, the ones that fit best in my hands.

I am so thankful for this analogy for this parable given to me. Now instead of feeling so guilty that I cannot do all of the things that I'd like to do, I will assess each activity or opportunity to decide whether or not it can fit in my life. And if not, then I say to myself "It is just another pine cone, and it's ok that it doesn't fit." When people ask me to do things that stretch me too far, or spread me too thin, or that crush or bend my most important pine cones, I will say "No." I don't need to be sorry. It's just a fact that it doesn't fit. I don't need to feel guilty because I am doing what's best by not overloading myself so that I cannot function well.

The Lord has said, do not run faster than you have strength, (Mosiah 4:27) and to run with patience the race that is set before you (Hebrews 12:1). I am starting understand what this means for me. John can only fit one pine cone in each one of his little hands, if he just sticks to those two pine cones, he can walk, and he can run, and he can enjoy the world around him. So I will focus on what matters most. I will be patient and kind to myself, and just carry the most important pine cones that I really need in my life right now so that I can walk and learn to run again.

So, are there any unneeded pine cones that you're clenching that you need to let go of and to set down so that you can be free?

Consistency is the Key - One Verse a Day

Each night, John's bedtime routine consists of brushing teeth while we sing Raffi's Song, "You Brush Your Teeth" but I change the words to apply to nighttime. Potty time. We might sing a fun/silly song. Currently we sing head, shoulders knees and toes. I sing, Seth does the motions (and sings) and John usually just laughs and sometimes does half the motions. Then, if I am feeling up to it, I play a children's primary song or a reverent hymn on the piano, and we sing. Or sometimes we'll just sing A Capella. We will read a paragraph and look at a picture from our Book of Mormon Stories Book, and then we will read one verse from The Book of Mormon in English and then the same one in Spanish. We have a picture of Christ as our bookmark, and it's John's job to take it our and put it back in. He calls Jesus "Kiki" because he can't say Jesucristo. (As a side note. In times of desperation, and John just needs to watch a video so I can make dinner, I usually put him in front of a Bible Video of the life of Christ. John LOVES them. He often wakes up and immediately asks for "Kiki" which means he wants to watch one of these videos. Here is one of his and my favorites.)

.

(Last night, John threw the Jesus bookmark on the floor...) It is taking a super long time to read The Book of Mormon. We have gotten to 1st Nephi Chapter 20 now. Yesterday night, John was really having a hard time sitting still and paying attention, he eventually had such a tantrum that we just had to let him run around while we read the scriptures. We had to smile and laugh a little after we read the verse we were on: "And I did it because I knew that thou art obstinate, and thy neck is an iron sinew, and thy brow brass."

(1 Ne. 20:4)

Very fitting. John fit that description pretty well last night

We often have to remind ourselves that consistency is what counts. John will not remember each verse we read or each lesson we taught him, but he will remember that we were consistent. That we made the Savior and the scriptures a part of our daily lives. He loves Jesus and knows that Jesus loves him and that he is a child of God. That's really what counts.

No matter how the scripture reading went, we always end with a family prayer. John can say "pray" now, and sometimes he bows his head and folds his hands, and at the end (or in the middle), he stretches out his arms and exclaims, "AMEN!" (It is so cute, sometimes I'll see him going around the house, and he'll bow his little head and then say "AMEN!" I love that he knows that prayer is an important part of our life. 

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After our routine last night, we let tornado John run around to his hearts content. And run he did! Shouting "BALL! BALL! BALL!" and waving his arms, and jumping on Papa who was trying to rest on the floor. He was like a maniac. Then when he knew it was time for bed, he told us he had to go potty, and that he was hungry....nice try! He's so clever.

But apparently all that exercise was a good thing because he slept in until 8:00pm! Whoohoo! A record!

Helpful, Healing Meditations

Here is a playlist of the Most Helpful Meditations I've found on You Tube, and I'll also include them separately below.

This one is excellent one to do after your morning prayer. (or anytime during the day - not at bed time)

Guided Morning Meditation 

This one would also be great for the morning (or anytime during the day - not at bed time). It would be a very good one to do in the middle of the day too. If it's warm enough, you could go recline in your car during a break and take 15 minutes to clear your mind and reset your thoughts for a super positive uplift.

Positive Meditation Uplift Your Emotions

These next two are the best ones I've found on Youtube to do in your bed right before you go to sleep. (You can also do them during the day, but I think it's best to lay down to do them.) They help me quiet my mind and send a calm restful feeling throughout my body. 

Guided Light Meditation for Beginners

and

Healing Light Energy, Full Body Scan Guided Meditation

This is the meditation that Angie Holpuch supports most. My homework for a few weeks was to do this once during the day and once at night. It was very helpful to get my mind and body to relax (although she's a bit mono-tone and the music isn't my favorite) - still a great tool though!

Physiological Quieting

and this is a CD that I HIGHLY recommend. I found this even before my diagnosis, and it was the first thing that truly started to shift my mindset and help me relax and calm my mind and body. Seriously, this is the best $9 I've ever spent on Amazon!

Stress Relief: Deep Relaxation Exercises

You can also get the individual tracks at the link above, and if you are interested in that, these are the ones I'd recommend in order of helpfulness for me for certain times:

Before bed/while falling asleep:

Flowing Comfort

Progressive Relaxation

Relaxing Restful Breathing

Guided Imagery - Floating Through Colors

Autogenics

As a rejuvination/de-stresser/energizer mid-day:

Power Nap

Guided Imagery - Inner Energy

Relaxing Restful Breathing

As an Emotional Reset:

Guided Imagery - Inner Wisdom

As you can tell though, I recommend getting the whole album. Why not? It's only as much as a Chipotle Rice Bowl with a Side of Guacamole and Chips, and we could all give that up once for relaxation, calm and a good night's sleep :)

I hope that all/any of this could be helpful to you. Please feel free to share with anyone you think it could help.

Who Am I?

I am a creator
I am a counselor
I am a teacher
I am a nutritionist
I am a historian
I am an activities director
I am a teammate
I am a planner
I am an interior designer
I am an organizer
I am a chef
I am a dancer
I am a financial manager
I am a coach
I am a cheerleader
I am a confidant
I am a playmate
I am a scholar
I am an actress
I am a time manager
I am a tear dryer
I am a peacemaker
I am a wardrobe manager
I am a dietitian
I am a listener
I am an observer
I am a motivational speaker
I am a supervisor
I am a song writer
I am a yoga enthusiast
I am a puppeteer
I am a reader
I am a musician
I am an innovator
I am a schedule coordinator
I am an entertainer
I am a meditator
I am a organization director
I am a singer
I am a sanitation specialist
I am a fashion specialist
I am a giver
I am an inspirational leader
I am a protector
I am a healer
I am a companion
I am a smile maker
I am a nuturer
I am a lover
I am a daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, cousin, friend
I am a DISCIPLE of CHRIST
I AM A WIFE and MOTHER

300+ Power Affirmations for Career & Professional Success

If Bernadette Logue has groupies, I'm her number one groupie! Seriously. This lady is changing my life! I am so thankful for the wonderful people the Lord is sending into my life right now to help me on my journey. I can't even list them all, but I will say Seth is my number one support, and I am thankful for him. I am thankful he is willing to try new things with me. Along with the 400 positive affirmations that we're listening to each day for a month, we're also listening to: 

300+ Power Affirmations for Career & Professional Success

It is really helping us evaluate how our thoughts, beliefs and feelings are effecting us. And we are shifting our paradigms to be more positive, loving, forgiving, happy, at peace, etc. Try it! It could shift the way you see who you are and what you do. 

What is my profession you might ask? I AM A MOTHER. And that is the most important profession I will ever have. I am happy and proud to say that. Do I have some side jobs? Yes. I'm a teacher, a TOEFL rater, a blogger, etc. But my greatest profession is to be a Mother, and listening to these affirmations for career and professional success has helped me to see that. At first I wondered if I might be concerned that I don't have a career if I listened to this, but I don't see it that way. It fully applies to me, and when I hear the word "co-workers" I think of my wonderful husband who is the father of our son, who works together with me to shape his life. John is my co-worker too, and my employee, my apprentice, etc. 

God has said, "This is my work and my glory, to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." (Moses 1:39)

I feel the same way about John, and that helps me remember that I am doing a great work.

400+ Powerfully Positive Affirmations - Try it! This Could Change Your Life

I've been listening to this positive affirmation audio every day (sometimes multiple times a day!) for about a week, and I am telling you, it is changing my life!! You have got to try it. You can even listen to it while you're driving, I do, and I have never felt so relaxed and happy in the car. This is helping me reset my brain and get these positive emotions and beliefs deep down into my mind and my body (my soul really). I hope you will try it. Seth and I are listening to it for 30 days (I think I might listen to it every day forever). Wow. I love YouTube. Hooray for technology that enriches life!

These statements are basically what I've been taught my whole life in my faith, but other ideas have gotten in the way. This is helping me to reassess, retrain, and recharge my paradigm.

I recommend you go to http://www.pinchmeliving.com/ to sign up. Just put in your email and name, and then you can download the audio onto your phone. And she has a cool New Zealand accent that is fun to listen to. Listen to it with headphones. I would be very surprised if you weren't smiling and feeling light hearted by the end of the 17 minutes. It's amazing how 17 minutes of positive thinking can change your whole day for the better! Oh, how I hope you will try it!

Life is good! Oh so good! (and I am saying this while my knees are aching, and I pulled a muscle in my right shoulder this week, but that doesn't seem to matter so much because I am keeping in mind that every challenge is an opportunity for growth and I embrace it.) Yahoo!

John - What a Joy!

3-19-14
When I bend over to touch my toes and stretch, John will always come over, sucking on his two favorite fingers and give me a hug. He pats my face with his other hand, and it is one of the most endearing experiences I've had. I love it! I love cuddling with him! Sometimes when I'm laying down, he'll come and lay with me and cuddle. He is so sweet. I am thankful he will take a couple moments out of his business (and boy is he busy!) to give me some loves. What a blessing it is to be a mother!

3-23-14
John is really on the go now! He can run. He loves to dance. He loves music, and waves his arms whenever he hears music playing. He is good at telling me which songs he wants me to sing by doing the motions, and he can even sing "EIEIO" But usually he adds something like "EIEIObo" :)

He gets into everything! He has 100% curiousity and  0% fear. A dangerous combination. So I'm on the run a lot trying to protect him from his own fearlessness. But thankfully the Lord has protected him so much, and has helped me to. It's amazing that so many people live past the age of 4! A miracle.

John was crawling through our sunroom and his onesie got stuck on the widow latch, and he was suspended. He thought it was great fun, and was laughing and laughing until he thought we weren't going to get him down. But, we did. Don't worry.

While Jeena (Seth's mom) was visiting us, she helped me get my wheatgrass juice production going again, and we've been drinking it for the last week. Each day I've gotten John to drink a sip. You should see his face after he drinks it. It's hilarious! He starting to get wise of the smell and the color, so I've had to be pretty sneaky about changing the container each day, or getting him distracted. I know how good for him it is, and even if it's only a sip a day, he'll be used to it, and he'll get like a million nutrients in his wonderful little body to help him stay healthy. He loves to feel the grass and eat the wheat sprouts. He can say "Pasto" (grass) loud and clear.

He doesn't love to sit still these days, and is desperate to go outside! He loves it outside! He recognizes that word in English and Spanish, and often points at his coat and asks for his shoes. John is talking and talking. You can say a word sometimes only once and he can repeat it and remember what it means. Incredible! It is truly a miracle to watch him learn. He is so observant. He watches your mouth when you talk, and he loves to copy us. Since my lasik surgery, I've had to use a lot of eye drops, and John likes to try to do the same, but ends up jabbing himself in the eye to his dismay... (as an update, my eyes are feeling better each day. We're 2 weeks out now, and I feel it is a miracle to open my eyes and see so well. The most amazing things is to see the buds on the tops of the trees across the street with such clarity. It feels like I've never seen them before. Maybe I wasn't looking. But now I am, and I'm thankful)

We spend a lot of time looking out the window listening for and watching pajaros/birds "Palo" and squirrels/ardias "curl"/"ahdeea." John is in love with them. The world is such an interesting place. John is helping me to enjoy that, and to see the beauty and wonder in a Robin digging for worms in our yard, in the swirling snowflakes (yes, there were snowflakes today...), in the trees and the grass.

I've been meditating a lot lately. In one of the meditations I do, it starts out imagining a time when you were the most happy. I always automatically imagine times when Seth and I are chasing John around the floor getting ready to tickle him, and John is having the time of his life, and laughing as hard as he can. It is the most contagious, happy laugh I've ever heard. It is music to my ears, perhaps the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. How we love John. He brings so much sunshine to our lives. We are so happy to be parents together.

Clear Sight

I feel like I was blind, and now I can SEE! The surgery did it's job. I can see 20/15 right now (better than 20/20!) They say that can fluctuate up to 3 months after surgery, but I'll take whatever I get! It is great to see! I won't even tell you about the procedure. It was scary as all get out! There was a complication with my left eye. They lost suction, and had to do part of the procedure twice, but even 5 or 10 years ago, they would have had to wait 3 months to repeat the surgery if that had happened! So they finished, and my left eye is a little more sore because a bunch of blood vessels broke, but they've got this down to a science, and the technology is amazing. That's all you need to know. But I would recommend it to anyone. It is worth 10 terrifying minutes to open your eyes and see the buds on the top of 50 ft high trees! I am very thankful. It is a miracle. Thank you all for your support and prayers. My eyes are very sore and it's tough to sleep, but it will keep getting better, and will hopefully be fine in a week. I am so thankful I have Seth and my mother-in-law Jeena here to help me recover. God has blessed me so much.

Lasik Surgery Tomorrow!

Well friends, take a good look! This is the last day. The LAST day that these glasses will be on my face!

Tomorrow is Lasik surgery. I am so thankful. I am thankful for my loving supportive husband for encouraging me to follow this dream, and for helping us to save up for this very pricey endeavor, and working so hard to make it possible, and hopefully they'll let him hold my hand tomorrow....

And I am so grateful for Jeena/Abuela, my mother-in-law for coming to help us this week. We are so blessed! John is already smitten. He will have a blast this week!

And I will thank sweet little John in advance for not hitting me in the face or poking me in the eye...please?

I am thankful to God that I have my sight, and for the wonderful medical advances that can even improve it.

If you would like to pray for me tomorrow (my surgery is at 10:15am EST), I would greatly appreciate it! Love you all! I'll be back on the blog sometime later next week to let you know what it's like to wake up in the morning and SEE CLEARLY!

John is 19 Months Old! 2-28-14

John loves to walk around tickling himself and others. He says "lickleliggle"

He's a little parrot everything. He's great at learning words, English, Spanish, and signing

John loves to put things on his head.

John loves to play. He plays hard! And he loves to dance and shake maracas. He says, "Shake!"
John's favorite songs are
the wheels on the bus
itsy bitsy spider
happy and you know it
He loves to do all the motions!

 John is a climber now, and he is so tall he can reach the stove burner! Watch out!

 This kid loves music. Coldplay is his favorite! At church he opens the hymn book and leads with the chorister, or during a talk that he thinks is too long.

 John had a wonderful time with his Aunts, Diane, Laura and Candi this month while we had a weekend away at business school. John absolutely adores his great aunts, and their dogs, Gypsy and Patch (now all dogs are named, "Pah!"

John can fold his hands during the pray and then says, "Amen!" and puts his hands out far and smiles!

When John is getting ready to take a bath, he loves to rub his tummy!

 John loves people. He is Mr. Friendly. He is absolutely content whenever he has some new buddies to play with.

He's a great eater. He eats just about everything we give him if he's able to chew it.

John is in love with animals.

John just started signing and saying please and thank you! (well, he says "Gacia and Pwee")

 After he does anything good or fun, you can always count on John to say/yell, "Yay Yay Yay!" and clap his hands!

John says "ChooChoo!" He loves trains.

John loves to read books, and he learns a new word on every page! He watches your mouth when you talk so he cal learn so fast.

John is calling us "Ama" and "Apa" instead of Mama and Papa now. It's pretty darn cute. We love our wonderful son!

John is 18 Months Old! 1-31-14

Bebe, Cece and John